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Eagle Eye April 5, , pm. Beyond food, shelter, and safety people deserve very little in life. PS: Boys wanting a hot girl is rather like a girl wanting a rich boy… And god knows plenty of those letters turn up on this site… Heck, we just had one this very week….

We all have preferences. Its fine to want to find someone you are attracted to both emotionally AND physically. But dear LW, watch how you frame what you find attractive.

Clearly some nerves have been touched. Really, really great comment! Because you also need the attraction to personality, that means you must be a little pickier.

I agree. His lead-up to the question was odd. But I read it as apologetic, more so than him attempting to justify some entitlement. I agree here.

Because people need approval by DW committee on when, how, and who they can date of course! Sheesh, have you been living under a rock or something?

That goes for men too?? I am curious about how the LW met his previous girlfriends. Did he pursue his ex-girlfriends, or did they pursue him?

Are you always the one to be asked out? Is that why women who ask you out are heavy or obese women? I mean, to be totally honest here — attractive, thin or curvy women are not going to ask you out.

Why would they need to ask you out? Someone made a comment above that women like to be chased, and that is true, at least for me, it was. I like the guy to make the first move, but I am always very honest about how I feel about him.

If I want more, I will tell him. My point is, are you doing enough to attract the kind of women you want, as Wendy says? If there are women that strike your fancy, then send them a message.

Wink at them or whatever shit they have on those dating sites. Like Ghandi said, be the change you wish to make in the world.

Not an accurate quote, and maybe a bit too grandiose for this, but same principle applies. You could be, or you could have just come across the wrong way in your letter.

Or those are just the type of guys that I have dated, anyways. I have to wonder if it is coming from a place of pressure.

DMR April 6, , am. The problem is not that obese women are just as beautiful as thin women. The problem is that he is letting the women do the chasing.

YOU decide who you would like to be in a relationship with — or the sort of woman you want — and you go and do it. Because you think attractive women should come to you.

Stop being passive. Stop letting life happen to you and go out and take some risks. Some guys are just chick magnets.

Most guys are not those guys! Women will approach highly desirable men, but on balance, passivity is a turnoff. And typically, men are expected to make the approach.

Matcha April 6, , pm. I like exercising with my SO. And I like them, but I want a skinny girl to ask me out now. Francine April 8, , pm. If you think rejection is likely for large women then it probably is for petite guys too.

Have you considered that at your size you might appeal physically to a limited number of available women and further narrowing the pool of women available to you by eliminating some based on their size might not be in your best interest?

DMR April 10, , am. He has the right to try to find a partner who he is attracted to. The amount of moralizing on this thread about how the poor guy should suck it up and enjoy big women for who they are is just ridiculous.

The problem here is two fold. Budj April 10, , am. I would also get off the online dating if I were you. I think you will find yourself open to a wide array of people if you were to meet them in person rather than dissecting a snapshot of them figuratively and literally in some internet profile…and that works towards your benefit in the same way from your prospects.

As far as the arguments up above in this thread I think the main point is if you want to make a change make a change. I was hovering around for three years after college.

And this is a guy coming from an entire family extended included that has struggled with weight issues since I was born. As my parents and their respective families started realizing stress and the way they ate contributed to their issues they made changes and now my Mom is almost as thin as when my parents got married…she was over lbs and is now close to Whatever January 10, , pm.

This is horse shit. Why should my pound self be stuck with a pound guy? Which is a thin, healthy physique. And I hope he can find a woman with a healthy body type someday that likes him back!

How is that going to help him? At the end of the day he is still going to be online turning down dates and not meeting anyone.

His choices are limited here. He can either change his profile to be more attractive body building, job change, etc.

That would not be useful for his goals. Claire January 17, , pm. I believe this pickiness is the result of online dating.

When we date online, we tend to feel like we are shopping for partners in a store. You look at height, weight, socio-economic status, style and many other superficial things.

I know that I have been looked over by men who would be fawning over me if I met them through friends or even randomly at a club. I do believe that this guy is no more shallow than the average person when it comes to online dating, and I bet if he actually met one of these women in real life through friends, he might very well fall in love.

Dan June 7, , pm. Guess who the least approached lonliest women are? Shorter guys have more work to do to make their height. Kate June 7, , pm.

I doubt tall women are the least approached and loneliest. Funny thing. I noticed a trend on bumble. Women stating they were 5 ft I started seeing it so often I googled it.

A ton of articles discussing exactly that. The average male height is about 5 ft 8. I read so many articles in psych journals it was unbel iveable.

Like the black hole for men is 5 ft 5 and under. Very limited market. Right, but how does that translate to tall girls not getting approached?

I know shorter guys struggle. LisforLeslie June 7, , pm. Further more everyone has something their attracted to. If you take care of your body you will have similar expectations.

A healthy confident person will want to be with a reflection of themselves. Chris R. February 3, , pm. These girls are the female equivilant of the male bad boy.

Dear Wendy February 4, , am. Kate February 4, , am. Rember to not play games, you healthy weight bitches. MY dick, you hear me??

Fuck August 7, , am. So many Hillary Clinton man haters in here. Dear Wendy August 7, , am. So, moral of the story: men who hate women like you seem to are probably really bitter about their teeny tiny dicks.

Sorry about your micro-penis, dude. Kate August 7, , am. Lolz for days. No one here hates men, but no one likes a whiny bitch working with 5 skinny inches or a stumpy chode.

Dear Wendy August 7, , pm. Allornone August 7, , pm. Kate August 8, , am. Bittergaymark August 8, , am. Wonder whatever happened to this LW.

I still think many made a lot of strange and curious assumptions about his letter… Talk about tar and feathering somebody.

There are some extremely fine overweight women he is missing out on. He wrote in that he was unable to attract any women who met his exacting standards.

He might prefer to date thin women, but apparently they all prefered not to date him. That was his complaint. He felt entitled to the affections of the women to whom he was attracted.

In any case, he seems not to be able to get anywhere close to the clothes off stage with the women he is attracted to.

Shooting way out of his league? Awful personality? Personal hygiene? An incel misogynist? Obviously very mentally ill? Totally messed up on drugs?

There is something about this guy which a ton of women view as a huge turnoff. Kate August 15, , am. Jim Miranda August 14, , pm. Being short or having a certain skin color or eye color and so on on, is totally different to being overweight.

Being overweight is a health hazard, and should not be accepted. There is an obesity epidemic in our society, resulting in illness such as diabetes, cancer, heart disease and many other things.

We should focus on finding a cure for obesity, not accepting it. I would never compare a short person who is athletic or a healthy weight,and looks good and takes care of themselves with obeisty.

To compare short stature with being overweight is very unfair, and deeply offensive. I consider it a health hazard. To me.

Copa August 15, , am. You cannot tell how well someone takes care of themselves by their size. Nor can you tell whether they are healthy.

Or how they eat, or whether they exercise. Ele4phant August 15, , am. We should treat people with a base level of respect and humanity, even if they are engaged in self destructive behavior.

Hazel August 15, , pm. If you like the person, whatever they are becomes your new favourite thing. Kate August 15, , pm. But these are two physical characteristics I would say are comparable in terms of also being undesirable traits when choosing dating partners.

Fyodor August 15, , pm. Height for men and youth for women are the only two attractiveness traits that are found in virtually every culture.

Allornone August 16, , am. Honestly, I would not want him taller. Hazel August 16, , am. Agree re the perfect height for hugs thing :. Fyodor August 16, , am.

I would also add that online dating as probably exacerbated the challenges for shorter guys. SpaceySteph August 16, , am. I think this is true.

You meet a short guy at a party and you hit it off then the height thing kinda fades in importance. K August 16, , am. Funnily enough my fiance is a foot taller than me, but I actually preferred short guys for a long time.

My dad is a big guy up and out and in retrospect we spent a lot of time accommodating that when i was a kid. Jim Miranda August 15, , pm.

No lack of height is not like being overweight. Also a short man could be handsome and athletic, a tall man could be fat,ugly, and have a tiny penis.

Height has nothing to do with looks or personality. To say obesity is ok, your basically ignoring all the scientific evidence that says being overweight is a health hazard.

This is overweight people living in denial. Women should treat short men the way men treat short women. The book your a talking about has actually been refuted.

In your estimation most doctors must be jerks since most doctors agree with me that obesity in general is a health hazard.

Try comparing short women who are slim, with obesity because of their lack of height, and I guarantee you they will be insulted and offended.

Miss MJ August 15, , pm. Jim obviously has a micro-dick. Go away, Jim. No one cares what you think. Not here and, obviously, not in real life.

Kate August 16, , am. Yeah, no. Short women are not. Kate August 16, , pm. Dear Wendy August 16, , am. Or are you a different loser with a size complex who feels entitled to date whatever hot woman he wants?

Copa August 19, , am. By BMI standards, many athletes are obese due to muscle mass. I did once and he was, guess what, a jerk with a small penis.

Bittergaymark August 16, , pm. Oh please. Every guy I have ever known has known how big their cock is. You have to know your bra size to buy a bra.

You measure your dick why? We are a nation planet? It comes up constantly. It is the rather tired and predictable go to insult for many.

Witness this very thread. Pretty much every guy on the planet has grabbed a ruler at one point. Dear Wendy August 16, , pm.

SpaceySteph August 20, , am. Yeah definitely different. In order to buy a bra you need to know your bra size. Penis length is not a discrete measurement on pants as far as I know.

I had vented to this site a couple years ago In the heat of the moment , i was exasperated with getting hit up by larger women all the time and i got frustrated and sent in what i sent in.

Bottom line is that I simply did not want to date women that were on the very heavy side anymore. Is that so bad?

Stop kicking the dead horse, but thank you to the few individuals that actually understood where i was coming from at the time and defended me.

Skyblossom August 17, , pm. I personally prefer taller, slim men. You would be too short for my preference. You seem to be saying you put in your time dating heavy women so now you are owed slim women.

As if you earn the right to get the woman you want by first dating the undesirable women. As if you were the only one who got to pick and you would get to pick a better woman because you put in your time dating lesser women.

Fyodor August 20, , am. Is he the same guy? I think that this thread has attracted a lot of commentary from unpleasant Internet people trying to put fat women in their place.

Kate August 17, , am. Ange August 18, , pm. Kate August 20, , am. Dating works on multiple levels. I have seen so many average Joe with hot babes and hot studs with average Jenny.

Dare I admit, I had a crush on my French language instructor who was married, 35 years old, fat and bald and I was only 19 never acted on my feelings while getting attention from men with stunning looks and hot body at the gym and yet I was not into them.

When we come to dating and relationship, we bring our entire selves, our desires, our insecurities, our vision and our idea of peace and this could work in a surprising number of ways with results that we never see approaching.

Sure, cerebrally, you may have a different idea of what you want and in this case you may want someone with a more perfect body than the ones you have dated but you just never know when the dart of love will strike you and from whom.

Jim Miranda August 19, , pm. People with obesity should be treated with respect and dignity, the same way that people with bulimia, or anorexia should be treated with respect.

The person should be respected,but the disease should not be accepted, it should be cured. Obesity like the other extreme anorexia, are diseases that disfigure and cause harm to the bodies organs, heart, and kidneys.

Being cm like the man at the beginning of this article is not classified as a disease, but being obese is classified as a disease.

She could have other assets such as a beautiful face, good figure, sexy legs and so on. In the same way a shorter man could have a handsome face, good body, athletic, big penis and so on.

A shorter man could have much better traits than a tall man. Women should go for good looks, athletic build, good hair, big penis and so on.

Women should go for good looks, not the height. As for overweight women, go for overweight men, since you both have the same condition, and suit each other, and would be able to relate to each other.

Lucidity August 19, , pm. What women actually go for is up to them. Fact is, most of us are attracted to height. To many women, tallness is part of good looks.

I once canceled a second date with a man who was shorter than me, even though he was otherwise good-looking, intelligent, funny, and successful.

Is that fair? People are turned on or off by all kinds of features we have little or no control over, like height or breast size or skin colour.

Other woman probably find the guy I turned down very sexy, just as many slim men find heavier women sexy. They just are.

Of course not. Blah blah blah. Plus, where even are all these short good looking men with big dicks?

In your imagination, I think. Copa August 20, , pm. Why would height be separate from looks? Height is a physical attribute kinda like size!

But you have to accept that plenty of people will not be attracted to you as a short man. Height matters greatly to men as well.

There have been many studies of the correlation between height and starting salary, income, success in business, success in politics.

At a time when women had few positions of power in business and academe, the benefits of height were clearly recognized.

MBA starting salaries were strongly related to height, much less related to grade point or anything else. It was pretty face equals large offer, it was tall equals large offer.

It is hard-wired into us that height, with decent build, equates to power. It is uncanny how frequently the taller candidate has won presidential elections.

Height is a far more accurate proxy for power, income, and popularity than a pretty face. Many actively distrust a man with an overly attractive face.

This has an evolutionary component. Big men were better warriors. They could do more heavy work. A person tall enough that you had to look up at having special merit has been around for a long time.

The former CEO of the company I worked for, who was above average height, still adjusted the chairs in the board room to give himself an extra couple inch height advantage.

Kate August 20, , pm. Height is definitely more important. One of my law professors actually spoke about this.

Hazel August 20, , am. Jim Miranda, you make no sense saying women should go for looks, not height, one physical attribute is as shallow as the other.

Bittergaymark August 20, , am. This remains a most amusing thread. Somehow women being attracted to height is normal.

So them not being attracted to short guys is also normal and thus perfectly acceptable…. And yet, any guy NOT being attracted to the obese, however, remains a mortal sin.

Ele4phant August 20, , am. Newsflash: weight for women and height for men are both disadvantages in online dating, probably equally.

Allornone August 20, , am. While I think people are getting harsh, I think the general consensus is that you have every right to be attracted to or not be attracted to a certain body type.

Still, I think people should be more open. My boyfriend? Short and bald. But god damn, I love that head. I love that head all kinds of ways.

If you narrow everything down to basic descriptors, you miss out on the whole. If not, no reason to. The problem with online dating sites is people lie.

Also, not sure why people on here keep saying short men can have an attractive face. No kidding, so can overweight people.

I still think people should try to be open and less harsh, but reality is reality. So yeah, people- date who you are attracted to.

Also, I mentioned my bf still being attractive because I realized I was painting him in less than physically flattering light, and he deserves better.

Also: a third of US women men too were obese as of Obese, not overweight. Are all these people single? No way, probably most of them are in relationships.

But of course height, weight, and age are impediments online. Anonymous August 20, , pm. Ryan Pickering September 12, , am.

It is wrong to refer to these women as chubby and you should fall for someone who you feel makes you happy. They have had everything to them on a platter and are there for beautiful.

As someone who is meant to be here for positive support and guidance, all I saw we revolting body shaming and finger pointing. It makes me laugh because those fat girls are fat for a reason and 9 times out of 10 they can LOSE that fat by going to the gym.

Instead, learn from your mistakes and your comments surrounding women of larger proportions and go for what YOU are attracted to.

Dear Wendy September 12, , am. Kate September 12, , am. Nothing you say is going to change that. Instead of whining, calling names, and yelling, you need to do the same thing.

Garrett Riedel February 12, , pm. I read the article, thought wendy was way out of line. In my opinion Wendy and the other women in the article attacked him for being picky.

I was married for 15yrs, to a great woman that was just really stubborn. I never shamed her and I was attracted to her. I have since been looking for different.

I agree with the guy who wrote the question. I am only getting likes from heavy women. I am funny, attractive, established, and successful.

I think that women have gotten picky i. I deserve what I am looking for and I am going to go get it. Dear Wendy February 13, , am.

A person is not a prize to be won. Go get what you want And the fat girl thing it could be where you meet them, why not try the gym?

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Steel yourself emotionally for colder weather. Originally Posted by poundfive2. Originally Posted by paleo. And I don't carry myself like a wuss.

Fix your attitude brah. Because these days every fat girl gets white knighted by 10 phaggots so she thinks she can do a bit better than her male equivalent.

Plus you are a 33 year old virgin with no friends and probably a phaggot. Why do people cling to life, knowing that they must someday die? Knowing that none of it will have meant anything once they do?

Originally Posted by jamestown I think fat white bishes think stereotypes are in tact so, yeah, just saying.

Go for these fit girls you are talking about and start smashing. You obviously have some insecurities about yourself, so don't be one of these foreveralone phaggots.

Go out, fix it, and slay these sloots. That's your Mindset, not your goal.

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